Have you ever found the internal voice in your head shouting at yourself:
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. CALM DOWN! 😳
I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but that’s where I found myself this week.
I have spent decades learning how to navigate chaos: to breathe, pray, compartmentalize, solve problems and keep moving forward. I’ve become pretty dang good at moderating my limbic system and staying grounded when the world around me gets wobbly.
But holy hat.
It has been one heck of a summer.
Our beloved family cabin burned to the ground, followed by a raging insurance battle. My wife blew out her knee and had surgery. People I deeply love went through devastating personal and business tragedies, including the horrific loss of a dear friend and members of her family in a flash flood. Then my wife and I traveled to Argentina and put our bodies through a rigorous series of cutting-edge stem cell treatments. Stir in business, mentoring, family, travel and my own ankle injury, and the last few months have been one giant firestorm hot pocket.
Here’s the strange part. Most of it is over.
The insurance is settled. The money came in. Debts are paid. My wife is healing. My ankle is improving. The stem cells appear to be working.
My mind knows the fire is over. My nervous system apparently didn’t get the memo. It is still scanning, still hypervigilant, still waiting for the next rattlesnake to crawl out from under a rock.
And what do I do? I try to force myself back into calm.
Come on, Rich. You’re safe. Get back to work. Start writing. Get productive. CALM DOWN!
Turns out yelling at yourself to calm down is about as effective as yelling at yourself to fall asleep.
So I’m trying something different. I’m calling it repetitions of peace.
Nobody gets stronger from one rep at the gym. You give your body repetition after repetition until something new becomes familiar. Maybe peace works the same way.
A peaceful walk. A massage. A quiet dinner with someone you love. A morning without rushing. Sitting outside doing absolutely nothing. A few minutes of breathwork. One wonderfully boring Tuesday where nothing catches fire and nobody needs rescuing.
Every one of those is a rep.
And I’m becoming fiercely protective of them. No more rattlesnakes right now. Just because I have the capacity to carry something doesn’t mean I have the obligation to pick it up, and an unraveled Rich isn’t particularly useful to anybody. So I’m saying no more often, simplifying, sidestepping unnecessary conflict and letting some problems remain somebody else’s problems without letting guilt pull me back in.
I’ve also started a ridiculously simple ritual at night. After a long, calming bath, I get quiet and repeat:
You are safe.
You are stable.
The fire is over.
You did well.
You are safe.
You are stable.
Nothing magical about it. I’m simply giving my nervous system one more repetition of what my mind already knows.
And you know what? It’s working.
I’ve spent a lifetime building the muscles required to handle chaos. This season is asking me to build a completely different set: the muscles required to receive peace.
That takes patience. It means not filling every open space. It means letting a quiet Tuesday remain a quiet Tuesday.
It even means not forcing my creative work. I desperately want to get back into writing Wisdom of a Grandfather, but wisdom doesn’t respond particularly well to being waterboarded out of you. So I’m collecting the stories, capturing the fragments and trusting that the flow will return when it’s ready.
Because sometimes the fire really is over, but the body is still smelling smoke.
Maybe we don’t need to keep shouting at ourselves that we’re safe. Maybe we simply need enough repetitions of peace that our nervous system finally catches up and believes us.
So let me ask you: what is one repetition of peace you could give yourself this week?
That’s where I am right now. A humble student of the practice, showing up for my reps, and slowly growing the muscle required to once again walk in peace. ✨
Rich Christiansen
Whenever you’re ready, here are some other ways I can help you:
The Free Values Blueprint Video Course – A step by step journey to help you clearly define your core values, create personal doctrine, and move from force into flow. This is the same process I have used for years with my face-to-face clients.
Pattern Breaker Meditations – A free three-part guided experience designed to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire emotional patterns formed early in life, and realign your life with what matters most. Through guided meditations and practical instruction, you can begin addressing repeating patterns at their roots.
Calm the Chaos with Rich Christiansen Podcast– Weekly conversations with thought leaders and everyday people who have faced life’s hardest challenges and found their way through. Real stories, real tools, and frameworks to help you move from chaos into clarity.
Free Tools to help Calm the Chaos – Practical frameworks and tools designed to help you regain clarity, steadiness, and alignment in everyday life.
Legado Family– A framework and community centered on strengthening family systems, legacy, and generational integrity.
