This past week, I met with several of the wealthiest billionaire families in the world in New York City. What I witnessed left me stunned. Some of the models these families have put in place are toxic, dangerous, and extreme.
Let me say this as plainly as I can:
True wealth is not money.
True wealth is passing on values. It’s sustaining your posterity emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Here is a sobering truth: 70% of wealth is lost by the second generation, 90% is gone by the third. Once you see what is happening behind closed doors, it is easy to understand why.
One family I visited with shared their framework for raising their children. The matriarch confided that their eldest daughter had cut off contact. Then she casually mentioned they give their 15-year-old daughter a $1 million annual allowance.
My jaw hit the table.
I lost every filter. With venom in my eyes, I looked them in the face and said: You would be better off handing your child heroin, needles, crack cocaine, and a pipe than doing that.
I then shared our Legado family framework. I told them how each of my sons, at 16 years old, shook my hand and made a sacred commitment: they would never take money from me again. Instead, I helped them build their own businesses and gain skills to stand on their own and thrive.
Then I asked: “In 20 years, whose children will be leading the world? Yours or mine?” The room fell silent. Their eyes dropped to that same table where my jaw had landed.
Let me be clear: The greatest gift you can give your children is not a pile of money. It is not designer clothes. And it is certainly not fame, fortune, or unearned prestige.
The greatest gifts you can offer your children are:
- Values. What you live, what you stand for, and what you model.
- Structure. A framework for how to operate in this 3D world—with skills, habits, and resilience.
- Unconditional love. Not soft, boundary-less love. Real love. Love that holds them accountable. Love that says, “I adore your soul too much to let you drift.”
My dear friends, let me remind you of something David O. McKay once said: “No success in the workplace can compensate for failure in the home.” So please, do not pass your children crack cocaine and a pipe. And do not hand them a blank check, expensive clothes, or a fast track to entitlement.
Let them earn. Let them build. Let their own divine spark catch fire.
With the intensity of my soul,
Rich Christiansen
