Each morning, I walk the river bottom trail near my home—a sacred place that gives me clarity and peace. On this journey, I often cross paths with two brothers (seen with Rich in the photo below), whose smiles are a gift, filling my heart with joy. With them, it’s effortless to exchange positivity; we pass with a shared lightness, a little unspoken celebration of life.
Then there’s another familiar figure, a woman who, for years, has met my smiles with a scowl, her energy a stark contrast to the brothers. I’ve often wondered what lies behind that look, what burdens she might be carrying.
Today, I decided to try something new: a soul apology. I silently offered a gesture of forgiveness, not for anything I’d done, but on behalf of any hurt she might carry, any wrong she’s endured. As I passed, I felt a shift. She turned and, for the first time, gave me a small, almost hesitant smile.
This moment reminded me of Don Miguel Ruiz’s wisdom from The Four Agreements, particularly the principle, “Don’t take anything personally.” Ruiz writes, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
We are all living in our own personal realities, shaped by our experiences and struggles. Her reaction wasn’t about me—it was a reflection of her own journey. This agreement encourages us to let go of the need to internalize others’ actions, freeing us to respond with grace rather than defensiveness.
And then there’s Viktor Frankl’s profound insight from Man’s Search for Meaning: “The last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl’s words resonate deeply, reminding me that we always have a choice in how we react.
We may not control the world’s actions, but we hold the power to decide our response. It is in this freedom that we find our true strength, our ability to offer positivity even when faced with negativity. Frankl, who survived the unimaginable horrors of a concentration camp, found that even in the darkest of times, this choice of attitude remained within his grasp—a lesson I draw from every time I walk the trail.
As I move into the next chapter of my life, I’m committed to embodying this principle: to keep pouring out positivity, even in the face of bitterness. Whether it’s in the warm smiles exchanged with the brothers or the tentative openness of the woman’s first smile, I’m reminded that we are each responsible for the energy we bring to the world.
So I encourage you—next time you pass someone carrying a heavy burden, consider offering a soul apology. Send them a silent blessing and see what shifts. As Ruiz and Frankl remind us, we can shape our lives through the choices we make, carrying light even in the shadows.
Warm regards,
Rich Christiansen
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