I have never—not once—met someone who has done something truly astounding, who has shaken the world in the best of ways, touched hearts, or created lasting significance, who did not first walk through the fire of deep personal challenge.
The ‘unspeakables.’
But here in our polished Western world, we are conditioned to hide our wounds.
To shove our scars into the shadows.
To silence the hard stories.
To be embarrassed by the places where life knocked the snot out of us.
We have got it all freaking wrong.
Did you know that in Peru and parts of Latin America, you cannot become a shaman unless you have been struck by lightning or had a complete mental breakdown?
They honor the breaking.
They know that only those who have faced the darkness can hold space for healing and light.
Several weeks ago, while I was presenting to an entrepreneurship group at a university, I was speaking on the power of embracing failure. I shared my own journey—51 businesses founded or co-founded.
17 multi-million-dollar wins.
19 failed ventures.
I have learned to fail very efficiently.
A sharp young woman raised her hand and asked,
“Rich, how did you become okay with failure? How did you build that muscle?”
I paused. I smiled. I gave her the only true answer:
Childhood trauma. An impossibly hard childhood.
What most would label a curse, I have come to recognize as one of my greatest sources of strength.
Not because it was easy.
But because it taught me how to sit with pain. How to stand back up. How to endure when most people would tap out.
It forged capacity. Grit. Empathy.
It gave me the stomach to fail 19 times and keep coming back for more.
I want to honor two remarkable friends of mine—heroes in my life—not just for what they have achieved, but for the wisdom they have distilled from their own unspeakables.
The first:
A woman who founded one of the largest global service networks for the underprivileged and mentally disabled—touching hundreds of thousands of lives.
Her childhood? She was chained to a table, kicked in the face, brutally abused by her own mother.
Her siblings fell into addiction and mental illness.
But she harnessed that pain, turned it into rocket fuel, and became a force of healing and hope.
The second:
A man of staggering brilliance and wealth—yet deeply grounded and tender-hearted. He gives millions to children’s hospitals, homelessness programs, and the forgotten.
When you sit with him, you can feel the rawness right behind his eyes. His heart wide open.
As a child, he was sexually molested and beaten by his mother from the age of four.
His siblings became heroin addicts or died by suicide.
And yet—he rose. He built one of the largest financial service companies in North America. And more importantly, he became a vessel of generosity and compassion.
So here is my invitation to you:
Quit hiding your unspeakables.
Stop silencing your wounds.
Look them in the eye.
Bless them. Embrace them. Find the wisdom in them.
Let them fuel your greatness—not your victimhood.
The world does not need more victims scurrying around like rabid rats.
The world needs healers.
The world needs builders.
The world needs those willing to stand in their story, heart wide open, scars visible, and still choose to lift.
What does not kill us can indeed define us.
But we get to decide how.
Stand tall.
Own your story.
Bask in the wisdom of your unspeakables.
With Heart,
Rich
