Several years ago, Governor Cox and I sat down for a long, honest, deeply human conversation about the value of life.
He shared some of the turbulent emotions he carried as a teenager. I shared some of the darker moments of my own life. When the conversation came to a close, he said something that has stayed with me ever since:
We need you. We need you. We need you.
This past week, I received a gut-dropping, heart-wrenching call that froze time. Someone extremely dear to me had taken their own life.
I will not name this person. But I will say this publicly: I love you. I see the grandeur of your soul. And I carry sorrow for not being there in your moment of deepest crisis.
This remarkable individual overcame one of the most turbulent childhoods I have ever known. From a young age, she showed courage most cannot imagine. She went on to build a remarkable career and meaningful accomplishments, often standing outside society’s norms, yet always doing so with dignity and grace. She was a unifier and a builder. Often the smartest person in the room. Deeply valued.
All of us face moments of deep despair. Times when the weight is heavy and the shadows feel close. When that happens, I beg you: pause. Take a breath. Step out. Reach for light in any form you can.
Even the hard and painful experiences of this life are sacred and precious. I keep returning to those words:
We need you!
In the passing of this dear friend, I grieve not only her absence, but the future contributions she still carried. I wish I could have been there to help hold the weight with her.
So let us live fully and brilliantly.
Let us give ourselves a pass.
Let us give others grace.
And let us be more noticing and aware of those who may be struggling.
In heaviness but also love,
Rich Christiansen
P.S. If you are struggling, please know that help is available and you do not have to carry it alone. Reach out to someone you trust, a professional, or a support line in your area. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at any time.
If you would like to hear my conversation with Governor Spencer Cox about the value of life, struggling with these thoughts, and caring for one another, you can find it here.
