Of all the lessons I’ve learned in my career, this is the one I want to double down on. It’s the real juice in the squeeze, the place where real happiness is found.
Early in my career, I was relentless. I told myself that if I gave everything for just six more months, I’d finally arrive. Six months became years. I was traveling constantly, staying at the office overnight, doing whatever it took to succeed. And I did succeed, at least by the world’s definition.
But then, my mentor, Dr. Peter Horne, called me into his office and said something I’ll never forget:
“You can replace almost anything in this world. You can replace a car. You can replace a job. You can replace money. But you can’t replace your health, you can’t replace your trust relationships, and, most importantly, you can’t replace your family.”
That 22-hour flight home gave me a lot to think about. I came back determined to do better. But when I picked up my youngest son, he pushed me away. He didn’t even know who I was.
That was the moment I knew: that being a CEO wasn’t worth losing the people I loved most.
This doesn’t mean I lost my drive. I still work hard, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. But I no longer live in the all-or-nothing trap. Instead, I zigzag. I push forward, but I set up guardrails. I work intensely, but I take restorative time for myself and my family. I don’t aim for perfect balance; I cross the line of balance frequently.
Because in the end, it won’t be the titles, the deals, or the money that matters. It’ll be the trust you built, the family that stood by you, and the life you actually lived.
Are you in the all-or-nothing trap? If so, what’s one step you can take today to step out of it?
All my best,
Rich
